Lone Shoe

I was driving to work one morning and I saw, in the middle of the road, a single, solitary, lone children’s shoe.  It was lying there, on its side, oblivious to what was going on around it.  Seemingly oblivious to the fact that it had found itself there in the road among armadillos (who did not quite make it) and debris freed from the confines of an automobile.

This shoe, lying there with no real understanding, aroused in me many thoughts.  I was curious where it came from.  I wondered if it was attached to the foot of some child or if it found its current resting spot from a pile of refuse. 

If it had been attached to the child, what happened?  Was that child a part of some hideous accident or did this shoe end up where it lay due to the carless kick of said child?  If it was the accident, what happened?  Was the foot still in the shoe, separate from the body?  If so, where is the foot now?

If it was just some carelessness from a child, what was going on?  Was their foot hanging out the window and then the shoe was gone?  Was the show thrown out by a sibling in either rage, jealousy, or the innocent act of play where the shoe was a bomb released from a plane but instead of finding its mark it was swooped out the window?

I will never know the circumstances that surround this lone shoe lying in the middle of the road amongst the chaos of traffic going one way and the other.  This shoe will remain a mystery to me.  I thank those who speculated with and for me.  Truth is, we will never know, much like we will never know what really happened to JFK, what is Big Foot, and if Atlantis is more than a great SciFi continuation. 

Revelations and Evaluations

Every so often in life you discover things, learn things, or stumble upon hidden secrets and, when these find themselves at home in your wellspring of knowledge, you have two very different reactions; you may often wish that you never heard them, choosing to stick your head in the ground like the mighty ostrich or you assimilate this knowledge gladly like the Borg do of a new unsuspecting crew.  Rare does such information elicit a mediocre shrug of disinterest.  Both deposit knowledge and sometimes one most look close to see the cost.

The revelations of the later variety are great and happy and always bring with it some sort of joy.  These can be negative events or knowledge but positive to the ear of the hearer for any number of reasons.  Some of those reasons can be because we are depraved humans looking for what can benefit us and what can work out to get me what I want; jealousy and selfish ambition is what is at work here.  Maybe the opposite is true and that revelation is positive and brings with it joy because the simple act of the knowledge being acquired is beneficial with no hurt to anyone else and that makes it all the more sweet.  Of course, the two do not have to be separated and can play off of each other but that is perhaps for another day.

Today I speak of those unwanted revelations that make you uncomfortable, or angry, or sad, or make the hair on your neck stand, or those that make your stomach churn like the waters under a river steamboat.  You know the ones I am talking about.  Those revelations that so shake you that you feel you just went through a massive earthquake while at the same time going through a rock tumbler.  Those are the ones of which I address today.

Have you ever been told something that hits you in the gut and knocks the breath out of you?  I think we all have.  How do you react?  How do you assimilate this knowledge?  How do you move forward knowing this and acting as if everything was okay?  All good questions and I think not all of them can be easily answered.  Each of us is different, with our own values, our own character, and our own set of life shaping events.  We all think differently and we know it.  “You don’t understand me,” is often true because sometimes we just do not.  We want to comfort one another with this but realistically, we do not understand.  We want to but we do not. 

I digress a bit because…well…I can.  It is my blog and so I do what I want.

Back to the revelations!

I think those bad/negative revelations (can also be unwanted) challenge us and motivate us.  They shape us and mold us.  They confront us with ourselves and force us to evaluate who we are, where we are, what we are doing, where we are going, and yes…even what part we may have in this. 

When we evaluate we look at, examine closely, and even reassess ourselves.  If life were just one pleasant event after another, one positive revelation after another, how would we grow?  Would we become dynamic or remain static?  We always second guess ourselves, always seek the easy way, and we always want to be right but we need to realize that it is the other stuff in life that builds our character.

Self-Actualization courtesy of DJ Qualls

I originally intended for this blog to be a therapeutic exercise for me to deal with the frustration over my unemployment and the things I have learned through this hard time but I have also decided to cover a few other topics. For example, I will cover things that have happened to me that I think are funny and worth sharing. Let’s be honest, I have nothing better to do than to share the mundane things.

So…let us begin.

Earlier today DJ Qualls tweeted these two tweets:

DJ Qualls @TheOnlyDJQualls 9:49 AM – Catching up on the last season of Weeds while I do my taxes. I swear, I’d give up a couple toes to work with Mary-Louise Parker

DJ Qualls @ TheOnlyDJQualls 10:50 AM – Damn! What a season. This show is badass. If you don’t watch it, ur missing out.

My Tweet:

Eric Green @Eric_The_Green 11:10 AM – You are trying too hard

This was intended to be a joke about him trying too hard to get on Weeds and to work with Mary-Louise Parker. I thought this was a pretty straight forward joke but I could not have been more wrong.

DJ Qualls replied to my joke and the conversation went like this:

DJ Qualls @TheOnlyDJQualls 11:19 AM – @Eric_The_Green Thanks, Eric. I’ll try hard. It’s always nice to get opinions from someone who hasn’t done shit.

Eric Green @Eric_The_Green 11:22 AM – Guys…I was just insulted by @TheOnlyDJQualls and it made my day!

DJ Qualls @TheOnlyDJQualls 11:23 AM - @Eric_The_Green I knew it would. That’s why I did it. I like to make people like you feel validated. Tell all your 100 followers.

Eric Green @Eric_The_Green 11:25 AM – @TheOnlyDJQualls 119. Would you be 120?

Eric Green @Eric_The_Green 11:23 AM - @TheOnlyDJQualls I was only joking. I think you are great! Your success is far better than my current almost 11 month unemployment streak.

DJ Qualls @TheOnlyDJQualls 11:25 AM - @Eric_The_Green don’t fuck with me, Eric. I’m balls deep in taxes. My sense of humor is NOT good.

Eric Green @Eric_The_Green 11:28 AM - @TheOnlyDJQualls My apologies. I would never. Seriously, I love your work and would never mess with you. I am not heckling. Truce?

DJ Qualls @TheOnlyDJQualls 11:32 AM - @Eric_The_Green Just be nice to people, Eric. No matter what your job is, we’re all still human. Digs at people suck.

Eric Green @Eric_The_Green 11:35 AM - @TheOnlyDJQualls No offense intended. Sincerely sorry.

Now I have to admit, he may have been stressed out and, as a friend pointed out, maybe he is used to being the butt of many jokes so he is more sensitive. I simply do not know. What I do know is that I got insulted by DJ Qualls.

I do not write this to share a negative story about a celebrity. I am not TMZ or any of the other entertainment shows. He, just like anyone else, is human and is capable of showing just how human he can be. As I said, I do not write this to belittle or share a celebrity gone wild story. No, this is more about how I need to be more understanding of the fact that my sense of humor is not well known by those out there in the strange world of the internet and, unless you know me you probably will not be amused by me which is a shame because I amuse myself all the time.

What I intended as a harmless joke was taken to a level I never intended it to go. Doesn’t this happen far too often? Or is it just me? Has anyone else ever told a joke only to have it create uncomfortable silence or incite comments that seem defensive? Maybe it is just me.

One of the important things I got from this experience is that I need to realize my jokes are not always good jokes. Also, Mr. Qualls does not know me so he did not know I was making a joke. Unless you know me, you may not get me; if you do know me you understand my jokes can just be bad and not funny. So I guess today I had some self-actualization and that is a good thing.

Let us not forget the other important thing we should get from this. DJ Freakin’ Qualls replied to me! I mean, a Hollywood celebrity replied to my joke. He has over 21,000 followers and he replied to me! Yay!